I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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