Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
