Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
