just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
