I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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