So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
