her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
