You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
