Who did Billy Mays play for?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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