If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
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