Apparently you make a good broom.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
