tell your sister to shave her snatch
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
