He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
