I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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