Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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