Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
