My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
