Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
