Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
