Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
