I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
