tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
We have started to decorate penises.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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