I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
