If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
