First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
