Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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