I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
