Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize
