If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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