Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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