As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
