Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
