you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
