he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I think people are normalizing furries
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
