I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
