He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
