Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
