wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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