I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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