Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
