eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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