so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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