So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
