All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
