ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
