i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
