i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize
