Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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