i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
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