i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
