There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
