Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
