There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
