susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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